From Burnout to Balance: Key Lessons Learned

From Burnout to Balance: Key Lessons Learned

Pedro Silva · November 6, 2024

The journey through burnout can feel like a slow drain, where every small frustration and unmet expectation chips away at your energy. For me, this realization came during my time at a previous company, where I navigated a dysfunctional team and faced mounting pressures. The pandemic only magnified these challenges, forcing many of us to re-evaluate our work, relationships, and mental resilience. In this post, I’ll share my personal experience of reaching a breaking point, along with the hard-won lessons and the steps I took to recharge my “mental battery.”

The Pandemic Experience

The COVID-19 pandemic was a challenging time for everyone. For many, myself included, it was the first time we had to fully adapt to remote work and adjust to staying home for extended periods. While many IT companies and teams were already familiar with remote work, the global health crisis amplified our dependence on colleagues for social interaction. After eight hours in front of a computer, the last thing anyone wanted was another Zoom call to bond with coworkers. During this period, our colleagues and family members took on even greater importance in our social lives.

As a new joiner at the job I had at that time, though, I found myself in a unique position. I didn’t know anyone, and at work, no one seemed particularly interested in getting to know me.

Leading a Dysfunctional Team

When I transitioned to the role of Scrum Master for a dysfunctional team (see Patrick Lencioni’s The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team) it quickly became evident that this was less of a team and more of a group of individuals simply thrown together. The absolute lack of trust was clear: for instance, no one ever turned their cameras on, and they knew so little about one another that they occasionally spoke or wrote in languages their teammates didn’t understand. They were there just to "do the work."

One developer monopolised nearly all the tasks by coordinating directly with the Product Owner, while the other 5 often attended the daily meetings in silence, hoping to stay unnoticed. Working remotely only made things harder; without ever meeting them in person, I struggled to connect. I didn’t know their ages, personalities, hobbies, or even what they looked like. Were they in a good mood, or did their tone just sound off? Did they dislike the product? Were there unresolved conflicts between them? Did they not trust me yet?

Months went by, and being part of a dysfunctional team was far from easy. Each day seemed to bring fresh conflicts, and every conversation had the potential to spiral into a blame game.

Personal Reflections: Me, Me, Me (Read Mimimi)

I wanted to prove myself in my role, so I started trying harder. I woke up earlier to prepare more sessions with colleagues, more workshops, more team-building activities. I also began holding one-on-one meetings with team members. For my personal development, I started studying more, so I could be better prepared to deal with the next conflict: learning more German, working on my communication skills, studying coaching techniques, and practicing non-violent communication.

But nothing seemed to work. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I needed to talk about all these problems, so I started sharing my experiences with loved ones and friends. Eventually, I sensed that they felt sorry for me but were starting to feel helpless and annoyed by the repeated topic, so I just shortened my conversations to: “It’s the same.”

Then, one day was different. I woke up at 6 AM to start working at 7 AM, hoping to be better prepared for the next difficult meeting. During the meeting, I was held accountable yet again: “So your team’s code quality is crap, and you still can’t give a clear answer on how many hours it will take to fix these bugs,” [laughs with other colleagues in the background]. And then it happened: I couldn’t speak anymore. I stayed on mute.

Pedro’s Battery Was Gone

Wait a moment — Pedro can’t speak? Are we talking about the same Pedro? Ehh... yes, we are.

The 35-ish-year-old Pedro thought he could just get physically tired. Surely, sleep would solve everything, right? Just go to bed early. Maybe playing some guitar would help... But, well, it turns out: no.

Without realising it, all those months of trying to prove myself, every argument, and each morning I woke up frustrated and anxious were slowly leading me to Burnout. Every time I practised guitar and missed a chord, it consumed my energy. Every time I lost a computer game and had to restart, it wore me down. Every conflict or small frustration at work or in my personal life was draining me bit by bit.

That’s when I realized my flame wasn’t burning anymore. It had burned out.

At that point, I reached out to a psychologist; I needed help from outside my home. But the next available appointment was six weeks away. The company I worked for had an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), a voluntary, work-based service offering free and confidential support, professional advice, and short-term counselling to help employees address personal and work-related issues impacting their physical and mental well-being. I decided to call the number and ask for help.

For the first time, I was asked very important questions. For the first time, I began learning how to cope with overwhelming feelings. An outsider helped me inspect my emotions and taught me simple exercises for meditation. There is one moment from those sessions I’ll never forget:

“If you were a phone, how full is your battery?” the psychologist asked me. “Ten per cent,” I answered. “Hold on to those 10 per cent. If you do, it will likely be a lot easier to pull yourself out of this,” he said.

Recharging My Mental Battery: 7 Key Lessons

Through my journey of navigating burnout and leading a dysfunctional team, I've gathered some invaluable insights. Here are the most significant lessons I’ve learned along the way:

  1. It's Not About You
    We all do our best, but sometimes we’re placed in situations that prevent us from achieving certain results. Remember, you’re not a tree—you can move! Changing your environment isn’t quitting. Admitting that this may not be the right place for you can be the first step in the right direction. Your manager might be able to help by moving you to a different role or team where you’ll thrive. Why not try this before silently quitting?
  2. Select Your Battles
    Learning guitar can be a challenge: you try, fail, and repeat. But if you’re feeling drained, quieter activities like painting a pre-designed Mandala, reading, or journalling will recharge you more effectively than competitive games — even if you’re only competing with yourself.
  3. Make Friends
    Never underestimate the power of connecting with others. A few good laughs with people who understand your work environment can be invaluable. They’ll often understand and advise you better than family, who may not fully grasp the details of your situation.
  4. Listen to Your Feelings and Check Your Battery
    Mindfulness is not a hoax! There are great introductory courses available on Udemy, and since we're on the topic of Mercedes-Benz.io’s Perks & Benefits, you also have access to mindfulness sessions through the Urban Sports Club partnership. Give it a try — you might be surprised by the impact on your mental well-being.
  5. Prioritise Wellness
    Put down your phone, take time off when needed, and pay attention to your emotions. Small wellness breaks can make a big difference.
  6. Let People Help You
    Show and express your feelings. Turn on your camera and let people see if you’re feeling down, sad, or frustrated. You don’t need to handle every emotion alone, and not all feedback has to be formal or typed.
  7. It’s a Lonely Battle — But It Doesn’t Have to Be
    Reach out for help! Professionals offer valuable tools and perspectives that can make a big difference.

So, if you were a phone… How is your battery today?


Pedro Silva

Release Train Engineer @ Stuttgart

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